Remember that stupid, sappy love book I told you about?
I quit reading it.
No joke, the day I made The Amazing Morse post official I quit reading Ophelia by Lisa Klein.
I couldn’t handle the
romance passion love.
Written by: Lisa Klein
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA Childrens
Publication Date: October 30, 2006
Paperback: 328 pages
“I dream of Elsinore Castle, a vast stone labyrinth. At its center, the great banquet hall, warmed by leaping fires, where courtiers passed like lifeblood through a heart, where King Hamlet and Queen Gertrude reigned, the mind and soul that held the whole body together. Now all fire and all flesh are but cold ashes.
I dream of my beloved, the witty, dark-haired Prince Hamlet, before he was taken from me by madness and death. ” (Page 1-2)
Shakespeare’s Hamlet told from Ophelia’s point of view. NOW WITH EXTRA ROMAMCE!
I hated this book.
Why, you ask?
There was a lot of kissing, romantic passion, suggestive content, potential rapists, and teenagers making love to each other.
On the bright side there wasn’t much swearing.
Okay, so now that I think about the original story of Hamlet, it should have been blatantly obvious to me what I was getting myself into.
My only excuse is that there was a Harry Potter connection.
kind-of a diehard Harry Potter fan. I own Harry Potter clothes, blankets, keychains, bags, books, magazines, movies … etc., I go to and/or volunteer for Harry Potter Festivals and I’ve even listened to Evanna Lynch’s(Luna Lovegood) podcast about whether Vegans can be wizards.
But more than anything else I check out what new films the Harry Potter stars are in.
I actually spent an hour watching clips from Now You See Me 2 because Daniel Radcliff is in it.
But getting back to Ophelia …
Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) portrays Laertes in the recently released film Ophelia, which – you guessed it – is based on Lisa Klein’s book.
So naturally, once I knew he was in the film I wanted to read the book.
I got it from the library, read a hundred pages in, and then Hamlet and Ophelia made love in the moonlight.
I am so, so done with this book.
It was bad enough they never stopped kissing but…
On a less inappropriate level, I didn’t like how the author tried to write like she was Shakespeare, i.e. “lifeblood“. (see beginning quote)
I prefer survivalblood, or existenceblood, or – on a rare occasion – vitalityblood.
Also, the writing kept swinging back and forth between modern and Shakespeare and I think the book would have been better if the author had simply written it modern style.
Yeah, so all of this to say I don’t recommend Ophelia to anyone.
For More Information About the Book or Author Click: HERE
Age Range – (I really would prefer NOT to give an age range but…) Adult
*DISCLAMER: I DIDN’T FINISH THE BOOK SO THERE IS PROBABLY MORE STUFF I DON’T KNOW ABOUT BUT JUST THINK OF WHAT’S IN THE ORGINAL HAMLET *
Violence: People die. The king was poisoned. People fight. Ophelia is attacked by a dog.
Sensuality: TOO MUCH – please make the pain stop. Kissing, (ahem) making love, a boy tries to get Ophelia to lift her skirts for him, and the Queen has erotic novels read to her before bed.
Profanity: Devil, (someone is called a) beast, h–l.
Other(drugs/alcohol): People drink wine. Lots of people lie. Ophelia’s father ignores her unless he needs her for something. People bribe others. There was a bunch of other stuff I’d write down if I hadn’t already thrown away my Cautions sheet for Ophelia.
Personal Rating: 0 out of 5 stars
Cleanness Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
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