Why I didn’t Finish: Jurassic Park – Michael Crichton

“There is a problem with that island. It is an accident waiting to happen.” (Page 77)

Title: Jurassic Park
Written by: Michael Crichton
Genre: Hard Science Fiction, Techno-thriller, Horror
Publisher: Alfred A. Knopf
Publication Date: November 20, 1990
Paperback: 400 pages

John Hammond only wanted to create a place where the modern family could see once extinct creatures alive again. What he got was a park full of dangerous, teeth filled, blood thirsty animals and a single switch to keep them all behind bars.

*DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT READ JURASSIC PARK IN OVER TWO YEARS*

Okay so this crazy guy hires a bunch of people and pays them a lot of money to rebirth the dinosaur.

What could go wrong?

Crazy guy decides to showcase said dinosaurs at a zoo-like park on a private island.

What could go wrong?

Crazy guy gets some experts to come to his said private island to look at his said dinosaurs.

What could go wrong?

Everyone could die or be seriously maimed.

But that would never happen! The park is perfectly safe!

Right?

Yeah, no –

I meant to reread all of Jurassic Park for this review but I got a little bit in and I refused go any farther.

Blood, bites, and bodies, my dear bibliophiles. Blood, bites, and bodies.

(The B3 – shall we call it?)

The book starts with the death of a man who was attacked by a Raptor (a very gruesome scene) and is followed by an attack (heard but not described) on a young girl. The girl lives but she has to be sent to a hospital to get serious treatment. There is a lull from The B3 for a few pages then a hospital nurse finds Raptors eating a baby.

I’m done.

I am so, so done with this book.

Two years ago, I read this book from cover to cover and I have no idea how. A lot about me has changed during those two years but I don’t think even two years ago I would have been okay with babies being eaten.

So we’re just going to say I somehow skipped that part of the book.

Sound good?

Good.

I really do like the premise of Jurassic Park, I mean, living, breathing dinosaurs?

Now that’s cool.

When I was little I had an infatuation with dragons (trust me this is relevant) and my parents bought me a book about dragon myths from around the world. I will refrain from fangirling a book of myths and simply tell you the last part of the book dealt with dinosaurs and how they are where we get dragons from. I read and read, and reread, and reread, and reread that book because dragons are next to Hello Kitty and Groot on my pedestal of awesome creatures.

And to this day I can spout off facts from every single page in that book.

Of course, over the years my love of dragons has died down a bit (okay fine, I just don’t talk about them all the time) and I’m not even sure where my dragon myth book is.

But Jurassic Park reawakened that love – ever so slightly.

If that park was real I would have been eaten by a dinosaur because I would have found a way to get inside and see the amazing creatures close up.

I would have found two stegosauri and named one Phineas and one Ferb so at least one could be a Ferb-ivore.

I would have gone up to a triceratops, named it Cira (yes, I watched that show) and petted it.

I would have gone up to a tyrannosaurus-rex, given it a bowler hat, said “You have a big head!” and promptly been eaten.

But I digress.

I Jurassic-ly digress.

I am so sorry I’m running on five and a-half hours of sleep and no caffeine in over twenty-four hours.

Despite The B3 I really do like Jurassic Park, so I recommend this book to adults who enjoy horror/thriller/monster books and are okay with reading vivid descriptions about mass quantities of blood, dinosaur bites, and human bodies.

For More Information about the Book and Author Click: HERE

Age Range: Adults or super mature teenagers.

Cautions – *THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE MORE IN EACH CATAGORTY WHICH I HAVE NOT REMEMBERED*

Violence: Lots of people are killed and/or maimed by dinosaurs in horrible and/or vividly described ways. A little girl is attacked by dinosaurs and sent to the hospital. A baby is eaten by Raptors.

Sensuality: Two of the characters are in a relationship.

Profanity: If I remember correctly h–l, and d–n are said and God’s name is taken in vain – there may be more.

Other(drugs/alcohol): People lie a lot. Certain characters are cruel.

Personal Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Cleanness Rating: 1 ½ out of 5 stars